mi corazón aplastado - dolido y abandonado - ¡a ver! ¡a ver! tú sabes, dime mi amor - ¿cuánto amor y qué dolor nos quedo?

money, get away - get a good job with more pay and you're ok

half my life's in books' written pages - live and learn from fools and from sages

Miserably long and boring day today. But it could always get worse, or at least thus saith the Random Obituary Generator of Doom:

We regret to announce the unfortunate passing of Hope Matis, who on the 3rd of April of this year was randomly perforated by an angry cow.  This unfortunate incident occurred in a manure pile in Las Calamas, CA.  The deceased was reported to have shouted "Does anyone have a band-aid?" just before expiring.  Hope Matis is survived by a bunch of cats, who could really care less.  Funeral services will be held the 2nd of next month.

I think it's a rather fitting demise, really. If there were anywhere I would be likely to be found in the off season it would probably be in the vicinity of a manure pile. Horse though, not cow, and I'll be damned if I'm found in California. Wrong coast. The cat bit would be true - though they could possibly shed a small tear for the loss of my role as She Who Bringeth Food.

Perforated. I like that.

honest is easy - fiction is where genius lies - cause it's easier sometimes - not to be involved

In Times and Places                                              
Per tempi e luoghi

There was the solitary palm, or scattered clumps                   
 c'era la palma sola o a branchi radi

yet I know they don't grow outside that circle             
ma so che oltre quel cerchio essa non cresce

there's only naked sand there, a broad expanse                               
resta la sabbia nuda, la distesa

that swallows your step, where running ahead                            
dove affondi la gamba, dov'è scesa

a woman descends and comes to a stop,                                       
la donna corsa avanti che s'arresta

frightened by the open space surrounding her                        
sgomenta nell'Aperto che la cerchia


the blue sky's monotonal hum                                                   
il suono monocorde dell'azzurro

rising up in silence to the heavens                                                     
che s'alza nel silenzio fino al cielo

without a shred of white or single feather                      
senza una striscia bianca, senza una piuma

is like the fever misting over me                                               
è come questa febbre che m'appanna

poet versed in the desert and its vastness                                     
poeta che conosci il deserto vasto

I myself was there only once                                                                
ci sono stato io una volta sola

as a tourist self-enclosed in glass                                                   
come turista che si serra ai vetri

on a long journey where he's the most alone                                
nel lungo viaggio dove è il più solo

twitching with the fever and consternation                             
trasale per la febbre e lo sgomento

first there was a chalk-white little village                                     
c'era prima un villaggio calcinato

of the sort you sometimes see in creches                                             
come talvolta vedi nei presepi

but no water flows here, there's no water-mill              
ma qui non scorre l'acqua, non c'è il mulino

even the earth not green but pale red                                         
trapassa nell'azzurro anche la terra verde

like she-goats transpierces the sky's blue                        
no, ma rossiccia come capra


and even the giant African violets                                                    
e la viola africana gigantesca

stand out distinct against the blue                                              
anche lei nell'azzurro ci si staglia

it was a long trip, first the olive trees                                      
è stato un lungo viaggio prima gli olivi

then a heathland blowing with a cold wind                                
poi una landa con il vento freddo

and the salt-flats gleaming white and perfect                             
e le piane di sale bianche e perfette

that icy air brought on the fever                                                
la febbre la portò quell'aria ghiaccia

gusting beside the great disk that dazzled                            
spira lungo il gran disco che m'abbaglia

with its gloomy warmth and strange light                                 
per il suo cupo caldo e la sua luce


one god alone inhabits the desert                                                          
un solo dio abita il deserto

and fashions mirages, raises the sand                                          
e compone i miraggi, alza la sabbia

that enters the tent and pervades the dreams                      
entra dentro la tenda pervade il sogno

of the shepherd of peoples and flocks                                                
del pastore di popoli e di greggi

the god of the empire knows that in the desert                       
dio dell'imperio sa che nel deserto

the sand always wins, shall win the planet                                    
vince la sabbia e vince nel pianeta


but in my woodlands the gods move about,                                   
ma nei miei boschi passano gli dei

hiding in grottoes and wellsprings in earth                             
stanno dentro le fonti e nelle grotte

they appear of a sudden on the footpaths                                 
s'accostano improvvisi nel cammino

seldom wise, ever quick to laughter                                                 
di rado sono saggi, pronti al riso

and to anger and coupling with humans                                   
all'ira e all'amplesso cogli umani


I remember Cerveteri and the asphodels on round       
Cerveteri ricordo, cogli asfodeli su tumuli

tumuli, the grass sloping down and the ruts of a cart            
rotondi, l'erba che scende, il solco di quel carro

vanishing into streets of the dead toward the living            
che si perde nelle strade dei morti incontro ai vivi
                                                                                                            
while I move with you my blonde amid the dog-roses
e io passo con te mia bionda amica tra le rose canine,

through white flowers and an acanthus bush                  
tra fiori bianchi e quel cespuglio d'acanto

that closes our story to the voices around us             
che chiude la nostra storia alle voci d'intorno


the Etruscan as well knew the desert                              
conobbero il deserto anche gli etruschi

or what the desert was like when streams flowed           
o com'era il deserto quando d'intorno

all round it and the timid young doe                                             
la timida cerbiatta s'addentrava

lightly entered the palm-grove                                               
scorrevano i ruscelli e nel palmetto

a few steps ahead of that lone god                                                  
prima che arrivasse quel solo dio

who cares little for idylls but speaks                                               
che non ama l'idillio ma che parla

from brambles or through the sand or the storm                
dai rovi o tra la sabbia o la tempesta


inside the last tent the Etruscan sees                                          
dentro l'ultima tenda l'etrusco vede

a colorful duck hung from a pole                                                          
l'anatra colorata appesa al palo

the skies of Maremma teeming with flight                                     
fitti di voli i cieli di Maremma

the clear brooks all brimming with fish                                          
colmi di pesci tutti i rivi chiari

he takes dear life down with him into his grave                      
porta nella sua tomba la cara vita

he'll have it thereafter forever around him                                  
l'avrà fissa d'intorno per l'eterno


I was thinking of Achilles, of that great mournful shade     
ad Achille pensavo, alla grande ombra mesta

in the Elysian Fields, with the bright grass around me          
nei Campi Elisi, e mi cerchiava l'erba luminosa

May the greenest, most swollen month of all                
maggio di tutti i mesi il più gonfio e verde

better to be a swineherd in the hot sun                                
meglio fare il porcaro nel caldo sole

than prince of the dead for gloomy Hades                              
che principe dei morti per l'Ade grigio

when the young boys fell into the Scamander                      
caddero i giovinetti nello Scamandro

regret gave out its final breath                                                               
e fu l'ultimo fiato di rimpianto


one autumn long ago I came here                                                    
in un lontano autunno ero venuto

with Rosaria, different time                                                           
qui con Rosaria, il tempo differente

was dead forever but hadn't been so for long                              
era morto per sempre ma da poco

from the black dismay that overcame me                               
per il nero sgomento che mi colse

I gazed at your body, so large and dark,                              
io guardavo il tuo corpo grande e scuro

and at the mirror behind, and the distant sea                 
lo specchio che era dietro, il mare in fondo

that body I enter inside and cling to                                  
quel tuo corpo in cui entro e mi ci stringo

the only one that can ever unchain me                                         
il solo che mi stacchi dalla catena

your hair is like a thicket of shrubs                                              
i tuoi capelli sono come arbusti

that I grab and twist and then inhale                                       
che io afferro e tormento e poi odoro


later I saw the quadrangular church                                             
ho rivisto poi la chiesa quadra

rising bright and potent upon the walls                                       
s'alza potente e chiara sulle mura

before it lies the verdigris Etruscan sea                                
ha in faccia il mare etrusco verderame

a stump of black henbane had filtered through                      
un ceppo di giusquiamo era filtrato

the white stone and basked in the sunlight                              
dalla sua pietra bianca gode la luce


the round lake of Bracciano is a mirror                                     
il tondo lago di Bracciano è specchio

to the woods around it, among the great alders                    
alle selve d'intorno, tra i grandi ontani

you would lie down only for a moment                                    
solo un momento ti saresti distesa

and only for an instant would I pluck you there                  
per un istante solo t'avrei colta

so tense and absolute in the shimmer                                            
così assoluta e tesa nel lucore

radiating from the grasses, blending                                          
che trapassa le erbe, mescola il giallo

the early broom's yellow with the honey of your skin             
della prima ginestra al miele della pelle

and blond hair that smelled of young branches        
ai capelli biondissimi che sanno di ramo nuovo


and leaves
e foglia


and a peaceful town at the bottom of the lake            
quindi un quieto paese in fondo al lago

as at other times like this, my heart was aching           
come altre volte mi stringeva il cuore

it's time for us to leave, the sky looks like rain               
che ce ne andiamo e il cielo quasi piove

your body and the grasses, the fields and flowers    
il tuo corpo e le erbe i campi e i fiori

all passes on now it's time to go back                                  
tutto trascorre è tempo di tornare


I am leaving in spring this time around                                   
parto questa volta di primavera

the meadows are yellow from the turnips                              
i prati sono gialli per le rape

but as before I see again the Appenines                                      
ma come allora scorgo l'Appennino

gathering clouds and mist around their summits              
che addensa nubi e nebbie alle sue cime 

Umberto Piersanti
(1987)

Da: Per tempi e luoghi, Porretta Terme, I Quaderni del Battello Ebbro, 1999

if you put your arms around me - could it change the way i feel - i guess i let myself believe that the outside might just bleed its way in

Lascia che l’imbrunire
inghiotta le nuvole bianco latte
punta lo specchio e rifletti te stessa
nel disco aranciato del giorno che s’addormenta.

io che suono tu che non rispondi

E’ un giorno dal colore asprigno
questo. dal suono grigio alluminio
dal gusto sordo.
la pioggia riciclata da un lontano
temporale non mi chiede il permesso
d’essere ospite al mio compleanno:
poco male. non ho preparato la torta.

~Massimo Rossi

you can fall for chains of silver - you can fall for chains of gold - you can fall for pretty strangers - and the promises they hold

the devil went down to georgia - he was lookin' for a soul to steal

A sad day for my sport.

There are a few more things to tell from this level, the level of the restaurant. One is the old joke about breakfast. “It can never be satisfied, the mind, never.” Wallace Stevens wrote that, and in the long run he was right. The mind wants to live forever, or to learn a very good reason why not. The mind wants the world to return its love, or its awareness; the mind wants to know all the world, and all eternity, and God. The mind’s sidekick, however, will settle for two eggs over easy.


The dear, stupid body is as easily satisfied as a spaniel. And, incredibly, the simple spaniel can lure the brawling mind to its dish. It is everlastingly funny that the proud, metaphysically ambitious, clamoring mind will hush if you give it an egg.

~ Annie Dillard, Total Eclipse, from Teaching A Stone To Talk

i wonder what it's like to be a super hero

and be a simple kind of man - be something you love and understand

i want to reach out - and touch the flame - where the streets have no name

A different type of islander

It seems Islanders has come back to haunt me. What had its humble beginnings as a hypertext project for a class has now shouldered into the current island world, and rumors of publication fly. Without a doubt I never expected the thing to be read by anyone besides my professor at the time, but when the first email came I was alerted to the fact that apparently one can find anything on the Internet these days. I still don't know how a MacMahaner came across the damn thing, much less one who knew my family, but there you are. Being published could be fun, though I didn't really write it to be read. It would have to be extended, fictionalized, improved - and I am a great believer in constant change. Were it to be written and published I would continuously return to it and see ways I could make it better, but it would be too late. Decisions, decisions.

there it is and there it was - it was clear to all of us - we kept this hat of broken dreams - and we pulled them out, when we needed them around

And so the sixth week comes to an undramatic close, save for the fact that even after four days no one, student nor employee, seems to have quite recovered from the long holiday weekend. I confess myself one of their number, for various reasons.

Undoubtedly it feels like a Friday though. There is a sense of laziness and slowed action throughout the lab, people moving unhurriedly towards tasks half-finished and with little likelihood of being finished before the day is done. Fridays are over before they have begun. This is the unwritten law. Snickerdoodles on the table in the Drafting cubicle farm, headphones on ears, and eyes drawn more towards the email inbox than to the heat transfer on the desk.

I admit my laziness without shame. I finished the task assigned to me weeks ago - merely the mopping up remains. I enjoy being busy, but I enjoy being entertained by my business. Doing something of which you cannot see the point leeches the flavor from it.

Hard to believe that only four weeks officially remain of this adventure. Technically only two for work - next week are short courses and the last week is reserved for student presentations. Those who have finished look with longing eyes towards those days; those who have not are suddenly in a panic. Time is a tricky thing, to convince us that so much of it remains right up until it is all but gone.

Lucia di Lammermoor laments softly in my ears and I think about what was, what is, and what is to come.

well i ain't never been the barbie doll type - no i can't swig that sweet champagne - i'd rather drink beer all night

there’s so much left to learn - and no one left to fight - i wanna hold you high and steal your pain

you might say i was the stranger who knew too much