Him: your comments on the war are beautiful as well, let it be said that we can never forget
Him: How many have died before we even came into existence defending their land, and their families
Him: it's too bad foolishness of a few has to harm so many
Me: if we were seeing a positive effect it could be justified
Him: That is actually what I have trouble with
Me: but everyone i know over there has said that they feel like they are doing nothing
Him: what could the positive effect be?
Him: yes, it's a preventive war
Me: if that's all it is then we will never be out of there
Him: it wasn't even a liberation of the Iraqi people really, the regime was horrible, and that was documented but it wasn't the reason we attacked
Me: ever
Me: the middle east was in conflict before christ, what makes us think that a few years next to two thousand will show a breakthrough
Him: I don't know
Him: I really don't
Him: Since the two towers fell I have felt like the entire world is spiraling out of control downwards
Me: "wars and rumors of wars"
Him: I am not not sure what that quote means
Me: just a random thought...it's from the bible in reference to the events leading to the end of the world
Me: i don't think that is at hand, but still
Me: one can see why all the fundamentalists are uneasy
Him: yes, thanks, I agree actually
Him: maybe not the end, but I don't feel like WW3 is out of the question
Me: not at all
Him: and with nuclear capabilities maybe it would be the end of the world, I don't want to think about that
Me: and a war at this point in time with a lot of itchy fingers on a lot of very big triggers would not be a war
Him: yes
Me: it would be self-annihilation
Him: it is scary indeed
Him: there are way too many itchy fingers around the world too, including at this point in the US's leadership
Him: I mean this country has often taken up the defense, bomb them before they bomb us approach
Him: what is our justification for that?
Me: pearl harbor is the first and to my knowledge only time that we were directly attacked on our own ground, and now the twin towers
Me: there is no justification
Me: we are an extremely paranoid superpower
Him: yes
Him: I think Iraq only proved that ten fold
Me: though with the amount of countries that have the capability of the bomb, that is not hard to justify... it is when we act on it without proof of intent to attack that is unforgiveable
Me: it's like finding out afterwards that the guy you just sentenced to death was innocent....oops, sorry about that
Him: yup
Him: man, its unnerving
Me: i think of iraq as a neighbor with a bad kid...one of those days the kid just goes too far, so he gets slapped in jail, maybe even a death penalty, and for good measure we torch his house to make sure none of his brothers go the same way... then we find out that his brothers were all harvard grads working for the peace corps, so we say sorry mom, let me send you these food packets every holiday to make up for it, and expect things to be ok
Me: that's about what we're doing in afghanistan
Him: yes, that's an interesting comparison
Him: but it's almost like you can't win whether you are right or wrong, if there is a right and wrong
Me: no
Me: no you can't
Me: which is what our politicians have not yet understood
Me: cause and effect, my children
Him: It's surprising with the great minds up there though that these things aren't dwelt upon
Him: I mean we are both young and I don't know what we see different from them
Me: oh i'm sure they are at least thought about, a few minutes in the morning while in the shower
Me: but they are not conducive to our political standpoint
Him: lol, I don't believe it's that bad really, but it does seem like corporate policy outweighs morality
Him: Our government is not consumed with thoughts of the global good
Him: only its own
Me: no, i am without doubt a cynic when it comes to politics
Me: and most other things
Me: but i can't help but feel that our concern with the global good parallels our concern with what our neighbors think of us
Him: well is that global good or is it allies' good, or clan, or faction
Him: they are not the same, people know this
Me: for the most part
Him: but wait a sec though, maybe they don't know that
Him: I mean they think they are right, their faction is right so why would they think about anyone else
Me: alliances are not like friendships....you cannot be friendly with two enemies and expect them to remain friends with you
Me: picking sides becomes necessary
Him: yes, thats true
Me: yes, that is why holy wars came into being
Him: but what makes us allies on a global scale, politics?
Him: like democracy versus dictatorship
Me: killing in the name of god is even more fun than killing because you don't like someone
Him: hah, and more ridiculous
Me: a ridiculousness that costs lives... best tragicomedy the greeks could have come up with
Me: allies on a global scale?
Me: interests
Me: primarily economical
Me: slightly less so political (down with communism! have to stop russia!)
Him: yeah, but if someone else's economy doesn't work like mine I don't see why i hate them
Me: possibly occasionally charitable
Him: you know what I am saying?
Him: I just don't understand why they have such different goals
Me: no, i mean that our alliances are often formed for the sake of an economic benefit
Him: ah, ok, I got ya
Him: The old, if we take over Iraq, we keep its oil routine then
Him: or something similiar
Me: yes
Me: we tell everyone it's for the sake of ousting a terrorist dictator, which to some degree is true
Me: but oil is a damn big fringe benefit, don't you think?
Him: some degrees, well put
Him: yes I agree
Him: so really we are the aggressors, we are the bullies
Him: driven by our consumers
Him: who want better prices, and more fringe benefits
Him: We have become a school playground
Me: and how much economic growth do you think iraq will be able to undergo, if we are its primary economic partner (though "partner" is a loose term) as well as its primary care provider
Me: stealing people's lunch money, yes
Him: man, this is insane
Me: it will be a two-member market, and we will flood them with our cheapo products while not allowing them to do business with anyone else
Me: and then we will complain about how much aid we have to send over there, man, why won't these people get a grip and get organized
Me: so then we'll do it for them, and we'll have another little puerto rico, another little guam, another little ngo dinh diem vietnam
Him: well in a sense it is the fault in Democracy
Him: Everyone is concerned with themselves, and not the "global good"
Me: ideal democracy is where the two intersect
Him: that is a simplification, but I don't think it is wrong
Me: but somehow we never seem to get that far


quod erat demonstrandum

now the sun's gone to hell - and the moon's riding high - let me bid you farewell - every man has to die - but it's written in the starlight - and every line on your palm - we're fools to make war - on our brothers in arms

The war in Iraq was brought back home to me the other day with the sudden and shocking information that the friend I saw off almost a year ago was hit in a convoy ambush. He took shrapnel in the neck and had to be operated on, and remained in unstable condition for a couple of days until finally pulling through enough to be flown back to the United States. He remains, temporarily voiceless, at the Army hospital in Washington, DC.

For so long now it has seemed as though the conflict were over. Sure, the casualty reports keep trickling in, but it has ceased to be headline news; it is more of an irritating background situation, like a mosquito buzzing somewhere in a dark room. I had almost convinced myself that it would never touch me, safe at school and thumbing my nose at the Army. So much for my complacence.

Let us remember that no matter how distant, the conflict is still very real, and still claiming the lives of the men attempting to maintain peace there. Our politicians act surprised that it takes ten times as many men to control an area as it does to merely conquer it. Did we learn nothing from Vietnam about the tenacity of natives on their own ground?

i saw you yesterday - your eyes were the color of some kind of grey - i hear what you're saying - please, don't let me go - i've got all these people down below - they rush to talk - they rush to say - man overboard - may day may day may day - troubles are brought back by you - funny how we - we go down - we go anywhere - but to the ground

i never lie - i never try - i never cry for you people - i'll push you - push you away - as you lonely people - keep on running around my door - yes, you lonely people - keep on begging - beg for more - and i'll cry for you - yes i'll die for you - pain in my heart it is real - and i'll tell you now how i feel inside - feel in my heart it's for you

oh and every time i'm close to you - there's too much i can't say - and you just walk away

i just wanna love you for the rest of my life - i wanna hold you in the morning - hold you through the night

It was the first day of autumn yesterday and I let it slip by unnoticed: shame on me. I had been tracking the progress of the lonely little urbanized maple outside my window; watched the green of its leaves become gradually suffused with red, then in a growing blush spread from the veins throughout the entire tree until the whole thing flamed in the early-morning sun.

you can turn off the sun - but i'm still gonna shine

I have just completed my thirteen-page masterpiece detailing the differences in critters between a river and a pond. Now to relax.

Had an earnest young freshman come in to the Writing Center today with his assignment and nothing more; we sat and talked for a while and he left fired with enthusiasm. It's such a thrill when that happens; someone just takes off, like lighting a firework. Oftentimes all the ideas are sown there, they just need a splash of water. Then sit back and watch the world turn green.

So many writers who are not regularly asked to be productive have little confidence in their instincts. The tragedy is that they are often right on track; they simply don't trust themselves to be correct. I want to just point something out and say "Tell me more about this," and I know I will learn something - a glint of gold swirling in the muddy water. Any mind can be brilliant given the tiniest bit of knowledge doused in enthusiasm.

sometimes i wake with a weary head and - i wonder how i'll ever get through - then i think of the things you said - how you told me to my self be true

and now i'm glad i didn't know - the way it all would end - the way it all would go - our lives are better left to chance - i could have missed the pain - but i'd of had to miss the dance

someday they'll open up your world - shake you down to the very core - they'll do their best to change you - trying to erase you

you got it bad - you got good - you saw the sun like you knew that you would - gotta make this better - gotta make this right - ain't no peace in the valley baby 'til the darkness turns to light

So I'm sitting here at my boss' computer because she's not coming in today and there has to be someone visible at all times so the hordes of potential Writing Center supplicants are encouraged to enter. So far I've answered the phone once, told someone it was ok to change their appointment, and told someone else that no, Ms. Brady wouldn't be in today. Today I am a secretary, not a tutor. My face feels stretched from smiling.

It's a good job though; one for someone who likes to see their visitors going out looking like they've been helped. It has the potential for great satisfaction and great frustration. It can be a trial of character or a truly productive and dynamic tennis match of ideas. Such is the flow of creativity.

The dedicated maple tree outside my window is beginning to turn; leaves touched with the true glowing scarlet of Acer rubrum flicker and show their silver backs in the newly brisk wind. It's a breeze that has a fresh bite in its breath; an autumn breeze that speaks of change. I feel energized by it; tempted to join in the last desperate dance of the leaves that spiral and float in partnership with the wind.

oh look at how she listens - she says nothing of what she thinks - she just goes stumbling through her memories - staring out on to grey street

my friend assures me "it's all or nothing" - i am not worried - i am not overly concerned - my friend implores me for one time only - to make an exception - i am not worried - wrap her up in a package of lies - send her off to a coconut island - i am not worried - i am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions - "oh," she says, "you're changing" - but we're always changing

I've heard there was a secret chord - that David played, and it pleased the Lord - but you don't really care for music, do you? - it goes like this - the fourth, the fifth - the minor fall, the major lift - the baffled king composing Hallelujah

Top Ten Reasons to Date An Engineer

10) They are used to all-nighters

9) They are always willing to experiment

8) They know how to decrease and increase friction

7) They know all about heat transfer

6) They do it with more torque

5) Engineering couples have better moments

4) They know how to deal with stress and strain

3) They know how to test their rigid cantilevers

2) "Lubrication, Friction, and Wear" is really a class

1) They design and build larger erections

In September Tam Lin returned to the ice to dance, more ephemeral than ever. She watched him from the shadow of the tall bleachers that stood firmly and unmistakeably solid in their cement casements and wondered how that hard bronzed body that he seemed to wear and cast off like a set of clothes could just as easily dissolve and leave nothing but the shimmering suggestion of a spirit set free behind. She was earthbound and leaden, bound to the same laws of physics that assigned mass to the bleachers next to which she stood.

He was there but not there; he seemed to exist in a world that overlapped her own but never truly melded, so that he seemed a mirage, visible but unnatainable. She knew that she would try to approach and, like the Red Queen, discover herself running as hard as she could simply to keep him the same distance away. The toe he used to have kept in the world had vanished; he was now inarguably a creature of air, that danced and spun in the chill of the fairy-ring and drew those who knew that the only way to see was not to look.

There was the sense of a light just outside the periphery of her vision, and she ran to the window, in time to see a quiver, the air tilt, and the faintest suggestion of a presence vanishing around the jagged brick corner below.

rainy the day, the first time we met - deep was the talk, forever my debt - it didnt seem wrong, to sing a sad song - sabra girl, soon you'd be gone

Acadian driftwood, gypsy tailwind - they call my home the land of snow - Canadian cold front moving in - what a way to ride - oh what a way to go

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner - sometimes I feel like my only friend - is the city I live in - the city of angels - lonely as I am - together we cry

I saw a skeleton today.

A mobile one, in designer jeans and top, perfectly tanned skin stretched tight across sharp hips and taut over the cheekbones. I thought Jennifer Carmichael, and walked on.

Later I went skating.