Miserably long and boring day today. But it could always get worse, or at least thus saith the Random Obituary Generator of Doom:

We regret to announce the unfortunate passing of Hope Matis, who on the 3rd of April of this year was randomly perforated by an angry cow.  This unfortunate incident occurred in a manure pile in Las Calamas, CA.  The deceased was reported to have shouted "Does anyone have a band-aid?" just before expiring.  Hope Matis is survived by a bunch of cats, who could really care less.  Funeral services will be held the 2nd of next month.

I think it's a rather fitting demise, really. If there were anywhere I would be likely to be found in the off season it would probably be in the vicinity of a manure pile. Horse though, not cow, and I'll be damned if I'm found in California. Wrong coast. The cat bit would be true - though they could possibly shed a small tear for the loss of my role as She Who Bringeth Food.

Perforated. I like that.