To all those with prurient and semi-prurient minds,

So. In my seemingly endless rounds maundering and gadding about at Ye Olde Borders Books and Music, I came across a title that was just begging to be shared with the initiates of our cult of romance-novel conoisseurs... I had written down the relevant information about two weeks ago, but in a fit of absent-mindedness I had consigned said scrap of paper to my mother's ravenous trash can. But I've got it now.

KNIGHT IN MY BED

by Sue-Ellen Welfonder, renowned auteur of Devil in a Kilt and Bride of the Beast (How could we forget the hero of that particular piéce de resistance, Marmaduke Strongbow??? (How DO you scream that, girls? It's too many syllables. 'Duke!!? Hmm...))


She planned to seduce- only to succumb...


A warrior in chains, a lady in charge, and a seduction too hot to handle! (Don't you love feminism?? The bondage-novel...)


Ahem.


As chieftain of the clan MacInnes, Lady Isolde (Arthurian romance, anyone?) will do anything to protect her people- including sacrifice herself to the enemy (sweet of her). Donall the Bold (I am reduced to a fit of the giggles trying to imagine screaming
that one), laird (!) of the hated MacLeans, lies locked in her dungeon awaiting execution. But rather than slay (!!) him, Isolde comes up with a daring plan to forge (!!!) a lasting peace between their clans.

Though Donall curses his beautiful captor, only a madman would refuse to savor the pleasures between that tantalizing aura of dignity and grace (take notes, girls...). But Isolde offers a mere covenant...(the ellipses!) and Donall craves nothing less than total conquest (how like a man...wouldn't you, if you were saddled with the epithet "the Bold"?). Vowing to steal her heart and take his freedom, the renowned warrior instead will find himself in a different kind of prison (clever, very clever), one made of sweet (!), decadent (!!) passion (!!!), one he may never wish to escape.


At this juncture I would just like to point out that, riveted by the suspense of the back cover, I opened this particular masterwork to find a cutting of the book - you know how they do that - on page one, where I read the phrase, "Mayhap the lass..."

I think that about sums it up for me.